MEANT TO BE BROKEN Read online

I regard him, my heart breaking by the second. I need to be strong for the years to come, I can’t allow myself any weakness. I’ve lived among powerful men all my life, and one thing I learned is that they always get what they want. The man standing in front of me is no different. He might appear gentle, but deep down I know he’s as ruthless as any of them.

  “I will marry you under one condition,” I say after a moment of silence. “I want my father dead, and I want to be the one to take his life.”

  He regards me for a moment. His gaze is stern and focused, as if he is analyzing my every move, looking for a sign of hesitation. He will find none. I meant what I said; I want my father dead. He deserves it more than anyone on this earth for all the pain and suffering he’s put me through. He deserves to suffer for trading my life like it meant nothing without as much as a blink of an eye. Your parents are supposed to protect you, give you stability and love, not feed you with fear and the feeling of helplessness. If there’s anyone to blame for the hate I feel toward him, it’s him. He broke me first. He made me feel weak, unwanted, cheap. He brought this upon himself when he sold me away. My father is a selfish monster who deserves everything that’ll fall upon him.

  “Killing him won’t bring you peace, Gina,” Santo tells me, clenching his jaw.

  “I don’t want peace. I’ve long forgotten the meaning of this word. I want revenge, Santo. I want him to suffer the way I did when he betrayed me,” I quip, clenching my fists. “I’m no longer the puppet on his strings.”

  He opens his mouth, and I think he’s about to convince me to change my mind, but something in his eyes flickers. His expression changes within the blink of an eye, as if he understands how I feel. He nods, taking the ring from the box and slipping it on my finger.

  “We have a deal,” he says, kissing my palm, all the while looking me deep in the eyes. “But make no mistake, Gina, I am here to protect you. I may not be the one to love you, but from now on, I’ll be the one to guard you from the hurt.” His words strike me like a knife, but I don’t show it. “I know you’re hurt, and that you hate him, but he’s your blood. He’s your father. Killing him will only make things worse. Don’t put that burden on yourself; he’s not worth it. Let me free you from your pain, niñita.”

  “I appreciate your concern, but I’m not yours to save, Santo.”

  “I’m not trying to save or fix you. I want you to understand that you don’t need to hurt anymore.” He lifts my chin, meeting my gaze. “You’re like the light going through the prism, Gina. You’re the most beautiful when you’re refracted, and only then you can see your true colors. Some things are meant to be broken, and that’s the beauty of them, that’s the beauty of you.”

  Chapter Four

  Santo

  She stares at me silently, her mouth agape. Her eyes roam all over my frame, a gentle frown painted on her beautiful face. She shakes her head in denial, stepping away from me. I don’t know what’s possessed me, but the words left my mouth before I had the chance to stop them. There’s something about this girl that makes me want to fix her, save her, keep her from hurting. Maybe it’s the sadness hiding in her mesmerizing eyes — pain so vivid it’s impossible not to notice. Or maybe it’s the fact that despite all the bad things that has happened to her, she’s still trying to keep her head above the water. She’s a fighter, and whatever she’s endured in her short years, turned her into the woman I’m looking at right now.

  The awkward silence between us prolongs, charging the air with thickness. Her eyes don’t leave mine, and I find myself unable to look away either. She’s stepping nervously from foot-to-foot, and I can sense the discomfort my words have caused her. Clearing my throat, I say, “What I meant to say is,” I take a deep breath, “you don’t have to hide your pain from me, Gina. There’s no shame in being hurt.”

  “Thank you,” she acknowledges after a moment of silence.

  I close the distance between us and take her hand. She inhales sharply, staring at me in shock. I know I should stop doing this, that I should keep my distance, but I can’t force myself to back away.

  “Come, let me show you the rest of the house,” I offer.

  She pulls her hand away, but follows my lead. Leaving the open-plan kitchen, I guide her toward the extensive library. The moment we step inside, her eyes sparkle. It’s the first sight of joy I’ve seen in them ever since I met her. The pure, sincere happiness fills her beautiful orbs. She smiles, and it’s the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.

  “Wow, this place is wonderful,” she exclaims, taking in her surroundings.

  She extends her hand, touching the shelves, guiding her slender fingers through the books’ spines. I watch her silently, glued to the floor. This girl is something different, she’s the most innocent human being I’ve met in my life.

  “There’s still plenty of space left if you want to order some books,” I say.

  With her hand still on the book, she turns her head toward me, smiling. “I’d love that, thank you.”

  I smirk, extending my hand. She gently places her palm in it. We step out of the library, and I show her the rest of the ground floor: the indoor swimming pool and gym, a small cinema, a garage filled with cars. Guiding her upstairs, I lead her toward my study.

  “This is where you’ll find me most of the time,” I tell her, opening the door to let her in.

  She glances around, making no sound. I close the door with a silent click, and she instantly shivers by my side. The heat of her body, the scent of her skin hit me, reminding me how intoxicating this girl is. There’s a spark between us, the undeniable attraction that drags us toward each other. I feel it. I’ve felt it from the moment I laid my eyes on her, and I know she can sense it too. Whether she likes it or not, her body speaks the words her mind won’t let her.

  “This is my sanctuary,” I exclaim, moving toward the small bar where I keep my whiskey. “Now that you’ve seen the house, can I get you a drink?” I ask.

  “I… uh. No, thank you.” She shakes her head, but then her gaze turns to me and she frowns. “What’s in the attic?” she asks.

  “The place I no longer go to,” I respond curtly. “No one’s been there for years, there is only dust and old furniture.”

  “Why?” Her curious gaze pierces me.

  “I have my reasons,” I end it there, cutting off the topic.

  She frowns again, but says nothing. I circle the mahogany desk and sit, pointing at the chair in front of me. “Now if you’ll allow, shall we discuss the agreement?”

  “The agreement?” she asks, surprised.

  “Gina, our marriage is a business transaction. Every business transaction requires a contract,” I respond, taking out the files from the drawer.

  “Marriage certificate…”

  “Is not enough,” I finish the sentence before she gets the chance to protest.

  I take a mouthful of whiskey.

  “This union,” I say, looking at her trembling hands, “will be beneficial for both of us, I assure you.” I pass her the contract. “Read it thoroughly. Anything you don’t understand or don’t agree with can be discussed.”

  She laughs derisively, pointing at the agreement.

  “You’re telling me I have a say in this union?”

  “It’s your life we’re talking about, so yes,” I respond calmly. “Like I said before, Ferreras marry for life, that’s not negotiable. But I don’t want you to be my prisoner, Gina.”

  “What does it mean?”

  “Read the contract,” I insist.

  She swallows hard and begins to read the document. Her hands tremble as her eyes wander over the contract. She frowns, shaking her head in disbelief, but she continues reading.

  “Is it really necessary for me to accompany you at business events?” she asks, visibly irritated.

  “It’s your duty as my wife. There won’t be many events to attend, but as the major shareholder in your father’s companies, your presence will be expected.” I say, avoiding her furious gaze.

  Taking a deep breath, she continues reading.

  “Are you kidding me?!” she shouts, tossing the contract on the desk. “Am I not allowed to have a lover?”

  “That would be disgraceful to a powerful man like me, don’t you think?” I say, resting my elbows on the desk, looking her deep in the eyes. “Besides, I can’t risk you getting pregnant.”

  “You’re sick,” she hisses through clenched teeth.

  “I’m a businessman, Gina. A ruthless, respected, and feared Don, to be precise.” I keep my cool. “Everything you do will affect me. Everything you say will echo behind my back. Every decision you make will reflect on my life,” I say, swallowing hard. “In our world, reputation is immensely important. We’re like a monarchy, niñita. We pass our leadership on to the eldest child, we follow strict rules. In our world, there’s no place for mistakes, weakness, or disloyalty. Therefore, I can’t let my wife whore herself behind my back.”

  “What do you expect me to do?”

  “I expect you to be loyal, or else there will be consequences you won’t like,” I say, determination sharp in my tone.

  “Summing up, you expect me to spend my life with you, locked up like a fuckin’ princess in the tower!” she shouts again. “How’s that not making me a prisoner, huh? Enlighten me, please.”

  “You’re allowed to work where you want, study if you wish, do everything as you please. Your life doesn’t concern me as long as it doesn’t affect mine. You don’t have to live with me as long as you keep security with you. You’re free to live your life as you wish.”

  She laughs mockingly, looking me deep in the eyes. “Oh, am I? Alright then, I want to be a stripper,” she says, folding her arm on her chest. “With this body, I could do it, don’t you think?”

  “Let me make one thing clear, Gina, because you seem to misunderstand me.” I start to lose my patience. “If I as much as see any other man’s hands on your body, I will chop them off. I will destroy anyone who will try to touch what’s mine. So if I were you, I wouldn’t test my patience.”

  She snorts, but then her facial expression changes, and she smirks.

  “Okay,” she says playfully. “Although I would like to make some changes to the contract. Like you said, it’s a business agreement, so I would like it to be mutually beneficial.”

  “I’m all ears, niñita.”

  “You won’t touch me without my permission,” she states.

  “That should be easy. I have no interest in you, Gina.” She bites her lip, her eyes sending daggers my way. “I’m interested in women, not girls.”

  “You’re not allowed to have a lover. You know, disgrace and all. I can’t risk people talking behind my back,” she continues, visibly pleased with herself.

  I regard her, taking a sip of my whiskey. She’s trying to keep her expression intact, but I can see the smirk building up on her luscious lips. I know exactly what she’s trying to achieve by making those rules, but it won’t work.

  “Is that everything?”

  “Children.”

  “What about them?” I ask.

  “I may be new to this…” she says, gesturing between us, “but I’m no fool. As you said, your world is like a monarchy. I know at some point, you’ll expect me to give you a child to uphold the bloodline.”

  I laugh. Her serious expression makes me cackle even louder. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so genuinely, but this girl amuses me like no-one else. Her innocence and shyness are exquisite. All the fatigue she puts in place to sound formal and confident makes her vulnerable. The confusion painted on her face mixed with anger is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

  “Gina, we live in the twenty-first century. There are many ways to have a child these days. I won’t ask you to carry my child if that’s what you’re afraid of. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” I say, assessing her reaction. “You’re right, at some point we will need to provide an heir to continue our legacy, but don’t worry your beautiful head about it now.”

  “I’ll let it slide for now, but we’ll have to discuss this at some point.”

  I nod, looking at her serious expression. “Are we done here?”

  “No,” she responds, furrowing her brows. “You will not interfere with my career.”

  “As long as it won’t affect my reputation, you can do as you please,” I say. “Anything else?”

  “I want a dog.”

  “A dog?” I laugh. “What for?”

  “To protect me,” she says, but her eyes lose their spark, and suddenly the sadness reappears.

  Just like with a touch of a magic wand, her expression turns blank. I call her name multiple times, but it’s like she’s not there, as if only her body’s with me, but her spirit flew away. I try to shake her, but her expression remains unchanged. She’s done that again, the same thing she experienced during the wedding with Kolkov. She’s completely detached herself from reality. I keep calling her name, trying to snap her back to the present, but she’s so far gone I can’t reach her. Her chest rises and falls rapidly, her entire body shuddering in cold sweat. I don’t understand what’s happened, but something must’ve triggered her memory. I’ve never seen her like this from up close, and the fact that she detached herself so easily, scares me.

  After a few minutes, her consciousness comes back. She stares at me with a pained expression, tears building up in her beautiful eyes. She tries to escape my gaze, but I cage her chin between my fingers, forcing her to look at me. She swallows hard, trying to calm her breath.

  “Where did you go, niñita?” I ask, concerned.

  “To hell,” she responds, panting.

  Chapter Five

  Gina

  The light of the lamp in the corner hits me. I can’t breathe. I can’t speak. It feels like the walls are closing in on me. Panic takes a hold of me and all I want is to run, but I’m paralyzed. I can’t force my body to listen, no matter what I try. I try to take control over my breathing, but no air seems to reach my lungs. I’m suffocating. Drawing quick breaths, I make an effort to compose myself, but in vain. I feel dizzy, the world around me spinning on its axis. I need to get out of here.

  Santo’s intense stare scares me, the way his pupils dilate when he regards me. I can’t stand the pity in his eyes, the utter shock of what he’s just witnessed. Tears stream down my face uncontrollably, and I choke, trying to catch a breath. My chest rises and falls rapidly. The humming in my ears increases, sending me to the state I’ve never been in before. I know I’m screaming, but I can’t hear my own voice. I close my eyes, trying to mute the outside world, but when I open them, I’m no longer inside Santo’s study.

  I find myself in the middle of white-walled room, dressed in nothing but a nightgown. All eyes are on me, roaming hungrily over my body. I’m terrified, shaken up, and utterly broken. I’m all alone, crying, begging my father to set me free. I’m scared. I’ve never been so horrified in my entire life. My legs tremble underneath me, my entire body shaking in revulsion. My heart is racing so fast I hear its loud banging in my ribcage. My whole body screams, but there’s no-one to listen. I feel disgust as their devouring eyes travel up and down my frame. I want to spew my guts on their feet so they can see how much I despise them, but I’m too weak to even keep my head straight. The drug my father fed me with starts to work, slowly pulling me under.

  The room is small, the dim light makes it look even more unfriendly than all those faces staring at me. Anxiety crawls back in, and I shut my eyes with anticipation of what will happen next. Until now, I didn’t believe my father was capable of doing this to his own flesh and blood. I hoped that this idea is just some sick joke, or a bad dream I will soon wake up from, but as I pinch myself, I know it’s real. Two bulky men at my side hold me upright, keeping me from falling to the ground. At this point, my limbs feel numb, and my vision becomes blurry.

  Four pairs of eyes stare at me, taking in every inch of my exposed flesh. I can’t tell what hurts the most; the fact that my father decided to sell me and agreed to marry me off to the highest bidder, or that he didn’t even budge doing so. I knew my mother’s death had changed him, making him a cold and calculated man, but until this day, I never considered him a monster. Now as I barely stand on my own, dressed like a whore in front of men who could've easily been my father-figures, I know the man who raised me, indeed, is the most ruthless, sophisticated monster I’ve ever met. This man knows no compassion, no mercy, and the fact that I’m his only daughter means nothing to him.

  “One million,” says the man to my right.

  “Two million,” bids the man next to him, smirking viciously.

  I shiver, trying to set myself free, but I’m too weak and too drugged to move. A painful whimper escapes my lips, but I’m no longer able to speak. I stare at my father who’s sitting in the corner of the room, eyeing me from a distance. There’s no guilt in his stare, no remorse, and it shatters me irreversibly. I know, no matter how much time will pass from this day on, I’ll forever be broken.

  “Fifteen million euro,” a deep voice rumbles from my left.

  I swallow hard, lifting my head dizzily to meet his stare. His eyes glisten with mischief, and I shudder. Tears roll down my cheeks, making everything blurry. I try to catch a breath, but there’s no air. I know. Deep down, I know it’s the ultimate offer, and I know my father is going to take it. But before I get to hear the final decision, I pass out.

  ֍

  “No, please! No!” I scream, writhing and panting. “No!” I cry out, but my voice gets stuck in my throat.

  A sturdy pair of hands grip my shoulders, shaking me cautiously. I scream again, trying to set myself free from his grip. Tears stream down my face, but I can’t open my eyes. I’m terrified of what awaits me once I do. I throw my hands, scratching his face, kicking and crying for help.

  “Shh, Gina, it’s okay. You’re safe,” the melodic voice says, tenderly. “It’s me, Santo. You’re safe.”